This Year, Mother’s Day Is Different
- Jenny Westbrook
- May 10
- 11 min read
05/10/2025
This Year, Mother’s Day Is Different
Unpopular opinion, something I’ve always felt but never been able to say out loud:
I hate Mother’s Day. And I always have.
Until this year.
Because now I recognize the patterns. The cycles. The reasons behind the feelings I never knew how to explain. I never took the time to look deeper into why I felt such resentment and sadness about a holiday that’s “supposed” to be amazing. I should feel blessed. I am blessed! I have three beautiful children: two biological, one adopted. I love them all more than anything. So why did I always hate this day?
Mother’s Day… the cards, the flowers, the celebrations, the world around us tells us what mothers are supposed to be. The words we hear again and again…
“A mother’s love is unconditional.”
“Nobody will ever love you like your mother does.”
“A mother would do anything for her child.”
“You only get one mom.”
“Behind every great person is a great mom.”
“A mom always knows.”
But what happens when those words don’t match your reality? What happens when you hear those things over and over again throughout your life? What if they make you feel empty? Like you don’t belong? Different?
That was me. Those words never comforted me. They cut. They opened up pain in me that I couldn’t explain to anyone. I didn’t understand it myself. Those words and especially on Mother’s Day reminded me of what I didn’t have.
Take a breath. Gently ask yourself: What am I really feeling right now ? and why? Explore where your emotions come from, not just what triggered them. Define your experience in your own words not someone else's story, but your truth. Take a deep dive into your feelings and why you feel that way.
“The most painful truths often carry the seeds of our greatest transformation.”
I didn’t grow up with a mother whose love matched those quotes. Instead, those words made me feel unworthy. Unloved. Unwanted. Confused. But I didn’t realize all of that until way later…
I was given up for adoption as a baby. And the mother who adopted me? She was a narcissist. I was expected to perform, to look perfect, win awards, make her proud. I was her doll. I tried. I really tried. But I was never enough. I was never going to be enough. Even when I won things, somehow I could never please her.
I found out I was adopted by a friend in a school bathroom in the third grade. I wasn’t even supposed to know. It was a “dirty secret” that we don’t talk about, I was told. My friend had overheard a conversation she wasn't supposed to — and told me. That moment changed everything.
I thought: maybe that’s why my mother didn’t love me like other moms love their kids. Maybe if we shared blood, things would’ve been different. So I started counting down to 18 — the day I could find my “real” mom.
“The wounds we can’t see are often the ones that shape us the most. But healing means we no longer let them define us. They now can be our greatest strength.”
I Found Her. But I Still Felt Alone.
At 18, I found my birth mother. She looked like me. Talked like me. Moved like me. There were so many similarities, and in the beginning, I truly believed I had found everything I had always wanted.
We spent time together. We built something. I thought I would finally have what my friends grew up with. Even though I was technically an adult, emotionally, I was still a child — desperate for the love of a mother I had never had.
But I now know that what I dreamed of could never have been real. It would have always been different. I hadn’t been raised by her. Behind my rose-colored glasses, I truly believed it could be the same. But it wasn’t.
I didn’t fit. Again. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Most of the family was kind and welcoming. But I was still the outsider, the stranger trying to play catch-up in a life that wasn’t mine. I didn’t know the names she mentioned. I didn’t understand the inside jokes. The family dynamics. I tried to learn. I wanted to belong. I wanted it so badly. But it was like watching a movie I wasn’t cast in. I was in the room, but still alone.
“Your healing is not a betrayal of those who hurt you — it’s a promise to the person you’re becoming.”
Where are you shrinking yourself to fit in? Where are you trying to mold someone else into a role they were never meant to play? Sometimes we bend so far trying to be loved that we forget who we were before the bending. Take a breath and ask: Who am I when I’m not performing to belong? That version of you ...they are worthy. And she belongs.
The Distance Grew. And So Did the Silence.
Life happened.
I was grieving the loss of my dad. A newly single mom. Two kids. A brutal divorce battle. A business to run. Survival mode. The visits slowed. The calls stopped.
I was too busy trying to survive — but even in the noise, I noticed the silence. And that silence screamed at me. It gave voice to old wounds: You did something wrong. You aren’t enough. You don’t belong anywhere. I felt abandoned — again. I blamed myself. I must be the problem. I must be broken. Maybe I’m just too much.
But it wasn’t just silence.
“I wasn’t made to fit in — I was made to come home to myself.”
And Then the Lie Was Exposed
There was more to the story. Three years ago, a lie came to light, not a small one, but a deep, painful, 30-year secret that changed everything. As we all know… nothing stays buried forever. Truth has a way of rising and coming to the light.
This lie wasn’t just about truth. It meant that every conversation, every visit, every connection I thought my mother and I had was build on a foundation of truth. And just like that — it all made sense. The distance. The discomfort. The missing pieces. There was always something beneath the surface.
Now I understood why I felt that gap — that ache I could never name. At the same time, I was battling late-stage neurological Lyme disease. My health forced me to stop running from the pain. I had no choice but to face everything I had avoided. And that is when my healing journey began. I began to face the hard things I had never wanted to see.
“Sometimes your body will break to protect your soul. It’s not weakness — it’s wisdom.”
Think of someone who hurt you — not to relive the pain, but to ask:
What did they unknowingly teach me about myself?
Betrayal is one of the hardest emotions to process.
But healing is possible.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting.
It means choosing your peace over their actions
I never thought I could forgive. But when I did, it gave me space to grow. To build boundaries. To protect my energy. Both of my mothers carried unhealed trauma. And they passed it on but I refuse to keep passing it down to my children. Because of them, I’ve become a better mom. Because of them, I hope my children won’t carry the same pain. The cycle ends with me.
“You’re not just healing yourself — you’re rewriting the story for everyone who comes after you.”
There is no shame in healing. There is only strength in choosing to rise.
Living in the Moment, With Gratitude
So this year is different. I’m breaking the cycle of hating the holiday. I’m taking back my power. I’m releasing the shame of wanting things to be different. I will be thankful not just for the blessings, but for the lessons this journey has taught me.. I no longer hate Mother’s Day.
This year, I will celebrate it with joy because I’ve chosen to.
Not because I forgot the pain. Not because it doesn’t still live somewhere in me. But because I’ve grown through it. I’ve learned to love the woman who never felt like she fit. I’ll honor the women who loved me along the way: The moms of friends who looked out for me. The friends who held space during my hardest seasons. The quiet acts of kindness that carried me farther than anyone realized.
Check out these FREE affirmation cards:
Kindness Ripples Kindness ripples farther than we think. Every small gesture — every kind word — plants a seed. You may never see it bloom… but someone else will. Sometimes, love doesn’t arrive the way we expected. Sometimes, it walks through the door wearing pain, or lessons, or loss. Sometimes, it pushes us onto a healing path — so we can help others heal, too.
“Your story may begin with pain — but it does not have to end there.”
And I’ve learned:
The deepest love begins inside you.
You are whole.
You are enough.
And you are not too much ...exactly as you are.
Look around you. Notice something beautiful. Feel one emotion without judgment. You don’t have to bypass your pain to feel joy. Healing happens when you allow space for both. Where are you silencing your truth? Where are you hiding your voice? Let it out — that’s where the freedom begins.
“What I didn’t receive in the past is no longer my story. What I give today is my legacy.
Closing Thoughts
I want to thank my dad — who gave me more unconditional love than I thought possible. He is not a woman, but he sure was one great mom and dad wrapped into one. I thank him every day for the sacrifices he made for me. I miss him every day.
So this year is different.I’m choosing me. I am choosing happiness. I am choosing love. I am choosing to own my story and I am choosing to use my pain for purpose to help others.
“Stop seeking permission for your transformation — it’s yours to own.”
This is the year I stop hiding my truth and own my story. The journey of healing isn’t about being perfect, it’s about showing up as I truly am, no matter what that looks like in the moment. Each step, each lesson, has been a part of my growth, shaping me into someone who understands that healing isn’t a solo effort. It’s a shared experience.
I hope that by sharing my story, others will find the strength to work through their own pain, knowing that they aren’t alone. It was through hearing the stories of others that I found my own path to healing. Our voices have power and by embracing our truths, we not only heal ourselves but also create space for others to heal too.
This is the year we stop hiding behind shame and start living in our truth. When we embrace our stories, we give others the courage to do the same.
Together, I believe together we can change the world one polkadot at a time. By sharing and working together, we can help each other through it all.
I hope you join me on the journey. Until next time...
Dream BIG, enjoy the journey, and always remember to spread Polkadots wherever you go!
With Love, Light, and Polkadots,
Jenny
Where All the Dots Connect...
a place where each small step leads to something greater. This is where I share the story of my own healing journey—how life’s unexpected challenges, personal growth, and reflection led me to discover my true purpose. It’s here that the dots, both big and small, come together to form a picture of healing, gratitude, and connection.
The journey began as I found myself searching for purpose, looking for ways to heal and grow from the struggles I had faced throughout my life. I had no plans to share my story with others, but as I worked through my own healing, something incredible happened: I was led to create Polkadot Pickle Books.
Originally written for my own children, these stories were meant to pass on life lessons, positivity, and mindfulness. But as I wrote, I found that my own path of healing was unfolding in ways I had never expected.
This series of children’s books became a reflection of my own healing process and the lessons I had learned. Writing them allowed me to find my voice, heal my inner child, and reconnect with the joy and purpose I had been missing.
The Polkadot Circle is the next step in this journey—a space where I share the deeper stories behind the books and the healing tools that helped me along the way. This is a space for adults who are looking to heal, reflect, and find new ways to navigate life’s challenges. Whether you’re dealing with personal struggles, trauma, or just the day-to-day stress of life, the Polkadot Circle is here to support your growth and help you find your way forward.
While Polkadot Pickle Books offer lessons for children, The Polkadot Circle is where adults can explore their own healing paths. It’s about embracing self-compassion, understanding our past, and finding strength to move forward, one small step at a time. Together, we can uncover the dots that connect us all, creating a journey filled with growth, mindfulness, and healing.
The Dot Shoppe is where you’ll find tools, gifts, and resources to support your journey—whether it’s healing tools, mindful gifts, Polkadot Pickle Book merchandise, or thoughtful apparel to remind you to stay kind to yourself and others. It’s a place to find inspiration, encouragement, and a reminder that every step of your journey matters.
Thank you for being here, for being part of this healing journey. Together, let’s continue to grow, learn, and embrace the power of healing. Let’s change the world, one polkadot at a time.
Healing starts with small steps, and I'm here to help with free Polkadot Space tips and tools for your journey. From empowering affirmations to mindful practices, these resources are designed to support your growth and help you embrace your authentic self. Start your healing today with these free downloads.
Pop in and grab "The Hidden Dots in the Shadow Starter Kit" For only $3
"The Hidden Dots in the Shadows Starter Kit" is a 17-page PDF designed to guide you through the beginning stages of your healing journey. It offers simple yet powerful tools to help you start facing your inner shadows and embracing the path of self-discovery. Inside, you’ll find:
Shadow Work Overview
5 Journal Prompts
Reflection Pages
Affirmations
Stay tuned! The full Hidden Dots in the Shadows workbook will be available soon to support you even further on your journey.
Looking for resources to help your children learn valuable life lessons? Pop over to Polkadot Pickle Books for fun, engaging stories that teach mindfulness, gratitude, and kindness!
Comments